Day 27 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 27 --

Today I'm posting the letter my dad wrote to me fourteen years ago today. His handwriting requires training to decipher so instead of scanning it in, I'm typing it out

 Here it is:

"To my daughter Megan:

This birthday, your thirteenth, is very special in that it heralds a major change in your life, the transformation from a girl to a woman.

I am writing this today so that I might tell you that I am very proud of you and that I am satisfied to know you have the moral structure and personal strength to become fine woman.

I realize today more than at any other time in my life what it means to say our children are our future.

Just as it has happened for thousands of years, the world I am passing to you is different from the world that was passed to me. In some ways, the world you are inheriting is a little better than the world I came into, with a few of the wrongs righted. Yet in other ways you will find it the same or worse.

What I must be satisfied with is that you are well prepared to take your place in this world.

I am proud to say I am confident you will be.

When I watch you with little babies and young children, I know you have a kind and gentle soul. When I see you playing softball or soccer, I know you can be appropriately assertive. I see your wit and intelligence and know you are blessed with a brain that others can only wish for.

While I will miss my little girl, I also take a lot of pride in giving you to the world because I know you will be among those who will make it a better place to live.

With love and faith,

Your Father.

I miss you more than I could ever say, Dad but I find so much comfort in this letter. I know you're watching over me and my little family and I hope you still be as proud of me. You've shaped me in so many ways and I appreciate all that you did for me. I'll see you again one day, Old Man, until then, know that I love you forever and ever.

Day 26 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 26 --

Having a big family is something I hadn't experience until Jay and I became a couple. The man has no less then TEN siblings and most of them are married which adds sibling-in-laws. I will admit, it was a little overwhelming at first but I love all of them so much. Having a big family is like being a part of your own small community; you watch out for each other and care for each other, you fight and make up. Being a part of a big family teaches you a ton about how to get along; you're not always going to see things eye-to-eye but having a mutual respect for each other means that's okay.


The family I have through Jay is almost all the family I have. I greatly appreciate them and love them immensely. They have accepted me into their ranks with open arms and make me feel like I've always belonged here. I wish I had a picture of ALL of us but that's near impossible. Instead, I have these:


From left to right - Me, Phoenix, Jay, Darla, Mike, Joel, Thom, Mindy, Sydney, Ron, Dylan and Samantha.


It's from 2008 so we're missing Paxton and Haley. 

This is me and Jay with his sister, Ambyr, her hubby Josh and their three beautiful girls, Bailey, Sidney and Taylor. 

Here's Grandpa Turley, Spencer and Ashley. 

   
And their absolutely adorable kids, Taite and Canyon.


Haven't had the chance to meet Stacy and her family yet or Kendall and his son. We're also missing pictures of Phil and Maddie but I think you get the idea. 


Sometimes it can be hectic, crazy or just plain stressful but I wouldn't change it for anything.


 We are a family. 

Day 25 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 25 -- 

Only three days left. 


I'm not feeling at all up to this today; the longer I'm sick, the harder it is to function...


Since I spent most of all of today on the couch snuggling with the boys and watching cartoons, I figured I'd share one of my favorites with you.


Here you go:

Day 24 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 24 --

I still feel like death but I have to get this house clean so forgive me if today's post isn't up to standard.

 I just put my mp3 player (aka my Blackberry) on shuffle; this is what she spit out for me:

Technologic - Daft Punk

Illegal Smile - John Prine

All My Trials - Nick Drake

Selfish Man - Flogging Molly

Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Let's Lynch the Landlord - Dead Kennedys 

Harvest Moon - Neil Young

Get Confused - Fischerspooner

The Best Damn Thing - Avril Lavigne

Wait So Long - Trampled by Turtles

Alejandro - Lady Gaga

The Opposite of Adults - Chiddy Bang

Sad Sad City - Ghostland Observatory

Help (I'm Alive) - Metric

Revolutionary - Immortal Technique

Bored - Deftones

Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi

The Cave - Mumford & Sons

Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked - Cage the Elephant

Boba Fett's 'Vette - MC Chris

This is actually a pretty good 'musical profile' of me and these are all songs I'd recommend, for one reason or another.

Day 23 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 23 -- 

It's raining. It's pouring. I wish I was snoring...

It's a blustery day here in Sacramento and I feel like garbage. Phoenix came home with a runny nose two Fridays ago and lovingly spread whatever nastiness he was carrying to the rest of us. Paxton and I seem to have gotten it the worst. The Dr. said Paxton was okay when I took him in last week and just prescribed Albuterol, a decongestant and some Motrin but he still hasn't gotten better. 

I feel like death. 

Full body aches; fever and chills; wracking, mucus-filled cough...the works.

When I feel this horrible, this is what I turn to:

- Lemon Ginger tea  with honey -

- Campbell's Vegetable soup -

- A cozy bed -

Day 22 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 22 -- 

It's official; Spring is here. The Earth is coming back to life and my birthday is right around the corner. It seems like the perfect time to make some changes. 

Time to do something drastic, a little dramatic....

       Jay's Aunt Ginger told me of a super easy way to cut your own hair -- pull all of it straight up, cut to length and let go... I can't even cut my bangs, as I've proved, so I handed the scissors to Jay and closed my eyes. There were a few seconds of complete panic because, let's face it, this could easily have gone terribly, terribly wrong.

-- The Before --

After two or three passes, there were a good three or four inches on the kitchen floor. I ran my hands through it; so far, so good. I got up and looked in the mirror...

 I L-O-V-E it! I can't even say how much...I've longed for a Posh bob forever but as previously stated, I'm loathe to part with my locks. I feel like I have that look now but still have some length too. 

I'm almost tempted to go a little shorter but I'm waiting. If you cut your own hair or want to try it, I'd recommend you try this cutting "style"; it gives an awesome, angled layering at any length and it couldn't be easier to do! Now all I need 

to do is get rid of my nasty roots...

-- The After -- 

Day 21 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 21 --

SPRING IS HERE!! AT LAST!!

Well, it doesn't look much like spring out there right now, except there are a few buds on the trees and a few flowers starting to blossom. Spring is awesome and it's one of my favorite seasons. 

Why do I love Spring so much?

Flowers start to bloom and the world has color again. Winter is so grey and depressing, it's a relief to see green and bright colors again. The urgency to plant this year's garden sets in and you can actually give into that desire to go play in the dirt.

With Spring, comes longer days; more sunshine, less rain and the chances to get outside increase dramatically. I'm one of these people that needs sunlight; I get so depressed when it's been gloomy and raining for more than two days (I have no idea how I survived 26 years in Oregon). Maybe I'm solar-powered, I don't know...

Since we really like getting outside, more sun is better. These kids get cabin fever real quick and being able to let them "free-range" for a bit out in nature is a necessity. There's a lot of nature around and we take full advantage of the rivers, parks and bike trails whenever we can. I was actually a little surprised by all that there is to do, close to home and out-of-doors. Folsom Lake and the parks along the American River have to be some of our favorite places to hike or picnic.

Thank you, Spring, for finally showing up.

We've missed you.

Day 20 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 20 -- 

Today was our nephew's ninth birthday! It's so crazy to think about how fast kids grow up; he was only three when Jay and I met and four when I met him for the first time.

Now he's a "tween" LOL

He's really, really, really into Legos so we got him a few Lego City sets; a helicopter, fire truck and some smaller vehicles. He could build them in his sleep but I figured these could just be filler for his collection.

 

He's also really, really, really, into the San Francisco Giants, which inspired a Giants/baseball-themed party (well done, Mike & Darla!). The house was full of black and orange streamers, Giants decor and even a Giants cake, complete with baseball bat candles.

Phoenix realized Grandma has an XBox in the  playroom and somehow convinced Dylan to let him play Tony Hawk. This kid is incredible! I had no idea he'd be able to pick up on it as quickly as he did; I mean, he has a few video games but he's never even seen Tony Hawk before...

Then there was the piñata. Most of you would like to believe it never rains in California.  It does. Then it floods. No joke. Yards flood; streams, creeks and streets flood; rivers, lakes and reservoirs flood; everything floods. We are not a family that's easily discouraged though; no, we will find a way! It's all worth it when it's for the kids anyways, right?


Oh yeah...did I mention he's a fan of the Giants??

The kids had a blast scrambling for candy, of course, and they all got goodies bags filled with a giant pencil, glow sticks and favors, to store their stash in. Phoenix made out like a bandit and came home with about half his body weight in candy. Paxton's getting so big; now he just roams the house following all the big kids, squealing and squawking around his binkie. He was equally fascinated with the balloons Uncle Mike gave him...




It's crazy to watch these kids grow up so fast; pretty soon Dylan will be in middle school, then high school and college and I will always know, Phoenix is right behind him. 

Have fun this year, Dylan. We love you!

Day 19 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 19 --

Before I found knitting, I was an avid reader. I still love to read but I find I don't do it nearly as mush; I usually find a pair of needles in my hands instead of a book. When I do read, I love epic fantasies. These are not to be confused with romances. 

Gross.

Fantasy is like sci-fi (science fiction) without all the techie shit. It's more about magic, dragons, witches and warlocks...Wow. That sounds as bad as techie shit...Oh well. I love it. It takes me to a whole new world (isn't that the point?) and I can really get into my books. If I'm particularly tied to a book or more likely, a series, I can find any excuse to read my book or talk about it to people who could care less. The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan is so intensely detailed, I feel like I personally know the characters. Or it could be the fact its taken me ten years to read (and I'm still not done).

Here are my favorites, all of which are series' (usually really, really long ones):

This is the first of 13 (so far) and starts the Wheel of Time series. 

This is an epic fantasy series and I can't even attempt to summarize it here. The ultimate battle of good and evil with a kid from the country as our unlikely hero. But can he and his friends really save the world? Or will he go crazy and destroy it himself?

This is absolutely one of the best authors and best series in the history of fantasy writing. 

Generations from now, space explorers from Earth are looking for new, habitable planets when they come across one they name P.E.R.N. They soon find that this seemingly perfect planet, untouched by the pollution of man or technology, is a very dangerous place to live when a passing star drops "threads" on them; threads that eat through everything they touch. The settlers' only hope for survival lies in a small, fire-breathing lizard that can scorch the "threads" before the touch down but how??

The Belgariad and the Malloreon are two more great series, these two being from David Eddings. In this series, a small orphan boy is adopted by his aunt and grandfather as they try to fulfill an ancient prophecy. Along the way, he finds his true identity and helps save the world

The Dreamers --

This is a series David Eddings wrote with his wife, Leigh. I love it because the main characters are mostly children.

Four Elder gods must protect their world from the Vlagh, an ever-evolving creature with millions of insect-like minions. The Elder gods can't use their powers to kill but The Dreamers, infant forms of the Younger gods, can use their powers in dreams to cause mass devastation to the Vlagh's hordes with natural disasters.

Day 18 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 18 -- 

These are my fears:


The Dark -- 
This is one of those silly, you-should-grow-out-of-it fears but I never have. I've always had an active imagination and I'm more than capable of convincing myself  zombies are stalking me, sniffing out my delicious brains. Even cats used to scare me, walking home from a friend's house as a teenager. I love camping -- until it gets dark. Then I want a really, really big fire and lots of flashlights with brand new batteries. I'm so glad I live in modern times, when our cities glow at night...

-- Outer Space 

Call me crazy but I have absolutely NO desire to travel to the moon or Mars. The idea of flying in an airplane is almost more than I can handle; I can't even contemplate going to space without panicking. What if you run out of fuel? Or food?? There's so much that could go wrong and you'd be left floating out there forever. No thank you. I'm happy right here on this tiny little 

rock.

Death --

A pretty common one, I think. I'm not scared of dying as much as what I'll miss once I'm gone. I don't want to leave before I've seen the boys grow up and have kids of their own. That's what scary to me. I've lived the tragedy of losing a parent before their time and I don't want my boys to know what that's like. I know it'll happen eventually; I just hope it'll be a long time in the future.

-- Marriage

This one may be a bit of a surprise. Marriage is just such a weird concept to me, personally. I suppose one day, we'll do the deed but we're not in any hurry. What if I decide I just can't stand him anymore? What if you decides he can't stand me?? As it stands now, we have most everything you think of when you think of a marriage:  we're committed to each other for life; we share everything & make decisions together; we have two kids, a cat, a dog and now, two chickens. Maybe it's the finality of marriage that's scary to me, I dunno. I know for a fact getting married won't change us or our relationship (we'll still have the same faults and pet peeves) and I can't imagine it will magically make us better parents. 

Day 17 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 17 -- 

So far, I've talked about what I have, what I love and what I hate; I haven't talked about what I want. We all have a "wish list"; that list of items you wish you had but can't afford, store or legally own.

Here's mine:

1) a tablet. I can't decide on which one but I know I want one. We could use a second computer and they're so much smaller, easier to travel with than a laptop.

2) a spinning wheel. We're stepping away from technology for this one but if you've read my blog long, you know I'm a knitter. Spinning seems to be a natural extension of knitting since I could keep myself stocked with yarn if I just knew how to make it! 

3) a few Pygoras. If I can wish for a spinning wheel, I might as well wish for some goats too. They're cute little guys and their fleece makes amazingly luxurious yarn so with a few of them running around, I could be sheering, combing, spinning and knitting for life!

4) an e-reader. Back in the 21st century (there's no rhyme, reason or order to this list, if you were wondering).  I suppose I could get books on my tablet but then it wouldn't be a second computer. I'm ashamed to admit I really haven't read since we moved and it's been almost a year. It's almost painful when I think about it...

5) shoes. Lots & lots & LOTS of shoes. I love them. I don't have enough of them. No, really. I don't. I'm sure there is an "enough" out there but there's definitely not a "too many". If I could, I'd wear heels everywhere, with everything (its seriously bordering on a compulsion); I'd buy shoes and build an outfit around them, the crazier the shoe, the more I'll probably like it; I'd have a walk-in shoe closet the size of the boys' room. Do I sound crazy yet??

6) a new car. Let's face the facts. My almost-fourteen-year-old Jeep has well over 200k on it; it's a tight squeeze with the four of us and the boys are only going to get bigger; it would be really, really nice to have a Hybrid.  And I suppose if it were a Lexus, I'd be okay with that too.

7) a mortgage. Most people would say 'a house' or 'a home' but I have that; what I don't have is ownership of said house or home. Renting has its perks but we're getting older now and we've never been the kind of people that move every time the lease comes up; we tend to re-sign and stay put as long as possible so buying a home seems like the smart thing to do.  A 3-4 bedroom fixer with a little bit of land or just a really big yard would be so awesome...

8) boobs. There. I said it. I WANT BOOBS! I've never been "well endowed" but I was at least a (small) B cup before kids. Now, I'm lucky if I fill an A. It's depressing to think about how gorgeous they were when I was pregnant this last time...that's what I want, permanently. Do I really have to be pregnant to have great boobs? Unless I want to go saline or silicone, I guess so...

I don't want boobs for any reason besides I want them; it's not because I think they'll make me prettier or more attractive; I don't want the "extra attention"; I don't hate my body. I just know what I look like with them and I'm pretty sure that's what I was suppose to have. There must have been a mix up somewhere. I'm sure there's a short, 85 lbs lady out there rocking my C cup while I'm stuck with her -A. My boobs are great for the size they are and beyond awesome when you consider they've survived two pregnancies and breastfeeding. They are lopsided or too uneven. Overall, I'm pretty happy with them. I just wish they were bigger.

9) everything M.A.C.. Dead serious. The entire make up line, the brushes, the skin care line, all the kits and collections. EVERYTHING. Add some private make up lessons to that too. I love the feel of M.A.C., the intensity of their shadows and blushes...I can't justify buying M.A.C. anymore but if I could afford to, I wouldn't buy anything else. I want a dressing room (off my shoe closet) with an over-sized vanity, lots of mirrors and an entire M.A.C. store inside, complete a couple of M.A.C. girls to cater to my make up needs. If we're dreaming here, why not dream big?

    

10) money. This may seem to contradict my distaste for materialism but I don't want money just so I can buy all this crap and more. I want money for peace of mind. I want the knowledge I will always be able to pay the bills, keep the utilities on, buy gas and groceries. I want enough for me and mine and enough to help out the other guy too. See? I'm not totally selfish; I'd share and spread the wealth around. If you have the opportunity to give to others, you should. It's what Jesus would do -- that's what I say to all of you who claim to follow 'His word'. For the rest of us, it's just what good people do. 

Day 16 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 16 --

Places I'd like to visit:

Thailand -- 

-- Ireland

Peru -- 

-- India

Day 15 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 15 -- 

I've been focusing a lot on what makes me happy in life simply because it's more productive, in my opinion, but that doesn't mean I feel happy all the time. Lately, my happiness feels forced ; well, not 'forced' but I feel like I have to look for happiness. Here's a list of shit that's been bugging me lately or just pisses me off in general:

LIARS! -- It's easy; say what you mean, mean what you say. I don't want to hear what you think I want to hear. I want to hear reality. I'm a big girl; as long as you're not totally f@*%ing rude about it, I'm pretty sure you won't hurt my feelings. You may think you're fooling me, that I have no idea I'm being lied to but the only person you're fooling is yourself. Really, telling the truth shouldn't be that hard...

IGNORANCE -- It is not bliss. It's an attempt to hide from all the scary shit the rest of us have to deal with. You can't hope to grow & thrive in life if you lack an open mind and it's impossible to have an open mind when you chose to be ignorant. And yes, ignorance is a choice; it's choosing to be unaware, usually of important things. Fear is what most often leads us to chose ignorance;  but really, what's scarier? Participating in Reality or pretending it's not really there?

RELIGION -- Going to church doesn't make you Christian and being Christian doesn't make you a good person. You shouldn't need "God" to tell you right from wrong; we have a sense of guilt because we know when we are doing something wrong!  I have faith but not in God or Jesus; I have faith in the strength of my family and my own abilities to triumph and persevere. I don't think it's wrong to believe in them, Jesus or God, I simply disagree with the institution of organized religion. Your spirituality shouldn't be dictated to you by anyone; it should be crafted by you, for you alone.

MATERIALISM (or the idea that money is everything) -- I like being able to pay my bills, don't get me wrong, I'm just not obsessed with money or material things. So many people feel defined by what they own but wake up, folks: possessions do not give a person value. They may look pretty or go really fast but they do not make you a better person. You really can't buy happiness; stop trying.

FAKENESS -- It's not a word but all of these things are a symptom of being fake. When you're fake with other people, you're eventually fake with yourself. You slowly disconnect from yourself, you can't understand what motivates you, what drives you, you lie to yourself...You may think of it as being "nice" but it's not; it's being fake. Fake is easy. Being real, being honest, is hard. It takes balls to say what you really feel and it takes intelligence to do it tactfully.

Susan Smalley wrote an article ("To Know Oneself") about the benefits of becoming "a naturalist of the mind" and the value of observing yourself without passing judgments or labeling yourself. When we surround ourselves with modern distractions in order to avoid making these observations, we squander the chance for self discovery.