Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 15 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 15 -- 

I've been focusing a lot on what makes me happy in life simply because it's more productive, in my opinion, but that doesn't mean I feel happy all the time. Lately, my happiness feels forced ; well, not 'forced' but I feel like I have to look for happiness. Here's a list of shit that's been bugging me lately or just pisses me off in general:

LIARS! -- It's easy; say what you mean, mean what you say. I don't want to hear what you think I want to hear. I want to hear reality. I'm a big girl; as long as you're not totally f@*%ing rude about it, I'm pretty sure you won't hurt my feelings. You may think you're fooling me, that I have no idea I'm being lied to but the only person you're fooling is yourself. Really, telling the truth shouldn't be that hard...

IGNORANCE -- It is not bliss. It's an attempt to hide from all the scary shit the rest of us have to deal with. You can't hope to grow & thrive in life if you lack an open mind and it's impossible to have an open mind when you chose to be ignorant. And yes, ignorance is a choice; it's choosing to be unaware, usually of important things. Fear is what most often leads us to chose ignorance;  but really, what's scarier? Participating in Reality or pretending it's not really there?

RELIGION -- Going to church doesn't make you Christian and being Christian doesn't make you a good person. You shouldn't need "God" to tell you right from wrong; we have a sense of guilt because we know when we are doing something wrong!  I have faith but not in God or Jesus; I have faith in the strength of my family and my own abilities to triumph and persevere. I don't think it's wrong to believe in them, Jesus or God, I simply disagree with the institution of organized religion. Your spirituality shouldn't be dictated to you by anyone; it should be crafted by you, for you alone.

MATERIALISM (or the idea that money is everything) -- I like being able to pay my bills, don't get me wrong, I'm just not obsessed with money or material things. So many people feel defined by what they own but wake up, folks: possessions do not give a person value. They may look pretty or go really fast but they do not make you a better person. You really can't buy happiness; stop trying.

FAKENESS -- It's not a word but all of these things are a symptom of being fake. When you're fake with other people, you're eventually fake with yourself. You slowly disconnect from yourself, you can't understand what motivates you, what drives you, you lie to yourself...You may think of it as being "nice" but it's not; it's being fake. Fake is easy. Being real, being honest, is hard. It takes balls to say what you really feel and it takes intelligence to do it tactfully.

Susan Smalley wrote an article ("To Know Oneself") about the benefits of becoming "a naturalist of the mind" and the value of observing yourself without passing judgments or labeling yourself. When we surround ourselves with modern distractions in order to avoid making these observations, we squander the chance for self discovery.


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