The Greatest Gift

As Christmas draws closer and we all scramble to find those last-minute presents, I want all of you to stop & think.

Remember that the greatest gifts we can give are NOT bought in the stores.

You can't order them online.

They don't require wrapping paper and they won't cost you a penny.

These gifts will be more appreciated. They have the potential to change lives and bring happiness you never realized was possible and they are within your power to give, to anyone and everyone you encounter.

Kindness.

Friendship.

Compassion.

Love.

Just a few of the priceless gifts we take for granted. We focus so much on the monetary value of our gifts, we forget that these simple things can have a greater impact than anything you can buy in a store. These are gifts that benefit everyone; the giver and the receiver. These gifts can be given to anyone; the clerk at the movie store, the cashier at Safeway, the teller at the bank, your mom, your friends, the bum on the corner.

These gifts will not go unused. They will not be opened up on Christmas morning and tossed aside. They will be enjoyed, cherished and they have the potential to be life-changing. They are in your power to give, as often as you choose, to whomever you choose.

These gifts are more valuable.

They have more meaning.

They are long-lasting and they have a tendency to multiple; the ripple effect, if you will.

One simple act could set in motion a chain of events beyond belief, sending ripples of awesomeness and greatness farther than you could imagine. My challenge, yes, CHALLENGE, to all of you this Christmas is to give ONE GIFT of kindness; ONE GIFT of friendship; ONE GIFT of compassion; ONE GIFT of love. See how far your ripples go. Enjoy the moment. Spread the kindness, the friendship, the compassion, the love. Spread them thick and wide.

Make this Christmas one that is full of these gifts and you will make this Christmas extra-special and full of unforgettable memories. I have been given these gifts myself and I can guarantee they have made an immeasurable difference. I don't care what I get for Christmas, this year or any other year, because I know I have the greatest gifts ever in my friends, my family.

I am well and truly blessed.

A birthday I hope he remembers forever

We did it. We successfully pulled off a birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's. There were no melt-downs. Not one, single fit of tears. No one got drunk; I didn't even get my glass of wine. We didn't lose any kids, or adults. Our little plastic cups ranneth over with tokens. The Birthday Boy walked out with 1803 tickets, bags full of awesome toys and goodies. The final bill was actually less than expected.

It was one of the best parties I've EVER been to; as an adult, as a kid. In my life. It's partly just because I could never have one like that as a kid. And knowing how much Phoenix wanted this "perfect party". It definitely had something to do with the awesome people who came to celebrate with us and being able to get him the ONE present he really, really, really wanted didn't hurt either.

We got there fifteen minutes early, which was good because they were grossly busy. You know that kind of anxiety-inducing busy you see at some of the must-go-to birthday party joints? Yeah, that kind of busy. I told the gal up front we were there and she started getting our tables ready. We waited in the car, hyping the kids up and watching for family & friends. Jay's mom & step-dad didn't see us in the parking lot and went in ahead of us so we figured it was time to go in too. I took presents and cake to the table & Jay waited with Phoenix for his 'escort', -- GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER. I'm talking about my seven year old son's birthday party here -- a special procession for him headed by a giant balloon with his name on it that I'm pretty sure we left behind. Oops.

Jay's brother, Mike came with his wife, Darla, and their kids Dylan & Sydney and Jay's grandparents brought our 'cousin' Annie. She's five or six and more like a niece than a cousin but she's Jay's aunt's daughter, which makes her a cousin. Then we met our hostess, got tokens and RELEASED THE CHILDREN. We ordered pizza and soda for the grown folk. It's not as bad as it used to be and is better than some of the chains we've been known to frequent. Our friends Jeff & Angela brought Angela's son, Andrew and our friend Carrie came with her son Aiden, one of Phoenix's BEST friends. Monica brought baby Johnny and Carrie's little sister Jordan, who's seventeen. It was one big, happy family and I loved it.

Party Time! Photo by Monica =)

Pizza came and we rounded up all the wee ones. We did cake and the kids got to dance on stage with Chuck E. Cheese. Phoenix got to go in the Ticket Blaster, where he could win up to 1,000 tickets! He went crazy and it was hilarious to watch. I'll post a video on the FB page. When our hostess opened it to let him out with his haul, she quickly ducked in and snagged him a few extras, including the Big 1,000 ticket prize. It was super sweet and awesome.

It was back out to the games and time for the part Jay & I were most scared of, all night -- the final bill came. She handed Jay a receipt he couldn't decipher and told him all she needed was x dollars. When he told me what the final amount was, I was SHOCKED. In a good way. It was less than I'd expected! We were now without a hostess, other than myself, so things went a little whack-ass for a minute. I soon realized it was all on me and I remembered the one thing every birthday has that we still hadn't done yet: PRESENTS.

I rounded everyone up and gathered all the cameras & Phoenix went nuts. He got Batman LEGOS, coloring books and crayons, clothes, a CAP GUN and CAPS (Thank you SO MUCH, Carrie!), an Avengers sword and shield, yo-yos, a Marvels poster and so much more. We saved the Big One for last and honestly, I think maybe we should have waited til we got home to let him open it b/c he wanted to play it right then and there. I don't know how he was surprised when he saw it was a Nintendo DSi and games when that's all he's been asking for since JULY but somehow, he was. I won't even lie and say I didn't get emotional throughout the night. I did. A lot. I kept myself together though and didn't actually cry or sob.

By this time, we were finishing our third hour of non-stop fun, the grand-folks had gone home and the tokens had finally run dry. Kids were getting tired. Parents were exhausted.

Everyone was happy.

We started to split up and go our own ways; the last of us looking real classy with our cars parked sideways in the lot, all our doors open as we said our final good-byes. It was wonderful and so. much. fun. We let Phoenix build his LEGOS when we got home so we could get everything else put away, tucked them both into bed and let out a huge sigh.

We did it. We pulled off one the best, most-memorable birthday parties ever. Yes, he's only seven and yes, there are many more to come but I know this one will be one he remembers.

I don't blog to make friends, it just sort of happens

I've done posts about what this blog means to me before. I've explained that this isn't something I do for anyone other than myself. This blog is a chance for me to vocalize everything that's going on in my brain and it gives me an opportunity to share my experiences with the world.

I don't choose topics I think will get me readers. I don't blog to impress people. I'm don't think this will get me fame or fortunes or make me an internet sensation. I don't really want to be a "mommy blogger".

I'm just a mom who blogs.

Given all this, I will admit that one of the biggest surprises and the greatest rewards in doing this has been the friendships I've made. One in particular, Kelly over at DeBie Hive, has been a true gift.

When I found her blog, I was shocked to see so many similarities in our writings and experiences. She had just lost her dad to cancer and I felt for her. I left her a comment and it sparked a relationship that has helped me in ways I could never have imagined. She motivates me to keep on writing, regardless of the topic, and to write from my heart. I'm impressed with how open and willing to share Kelly is and I find it inspiring. I find strength in her words; they give me the ability to say, "Yes. I can do this. I can be open & honest. I don't need to censor my words here. THIS IS MY SPACE." 


I started my Facebook page in large part because of Kelly, even if she doesn't know it. I look forward to her blogs with much anticipation and I am always, ALWAYS thrilled to get feedback from her on my posts. She is genuine, warm, friendly and HONEST. With not a lot of people to turn to for advice or just an ear to listen to my woes, I am supremely grateful that she has decided I am worthy of her attentions. A quick conversation with her on Facebook yesterday, changed my entire day & helped me work through issues that have been plaguing me for a long while now.

We may be absolute strangers in the eyes of most people but I have a feeling that if I were to announce a trip to Colorado tomorrow, I'd have an invite to meet her for coffee. And, Kelly, if you ever make a trip out to Sacramento, I'll be expecting to hear about it. You have helped me find confidence in my writings, helped me give voice to the thoughts I dared not speak before and shown me the power of uncensoring myself.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to be your friend. You really are awesome <3

When a lazy Sunday goes bad

Even though we completely lack any sort of religious preference, we can agree Sunday should be a day of rest. Mainly because we want at least one day we can laze around and not feel obligated to go out & do something; secondly because Sunday is the day before Monday, which makes it the perfect day for resting before being tackled by another week of work, school & all the other obligations we must suffer through.

This Sunday, things were different. Very different.

It started out great. I got to sleep in. I mean really sleep in. I didn't get out of bed until after 9 (that's like noon for most people). It felt GREAT.

When I got up, I ran to get coffee and Sunday morning breakfast of coffee cake & chocolate chip muffins. I made coffee, read my book outside in the sunshine for a bit. I remembered for the first time in months that we own a Kinect & we all got down on some Kinect Adventures!. I can't believe I forgot how awesome this thing is! This summer won't be nearly as difficult as I thought when I can entertain & exercise the kids from the comfort of an air-conditioned house.

With summer on the way, weather here has been nice. And hot. Really hot for a girl from Oregon. I thought it was hot enough for the A/C since we were bouncing around, leaping over imaginary logs and whatnot. Jay thought differently so he busted out his industrial strength blower. It's a huge fan that he uses to dry the floors after mopping. It's like a box fan on crack and really helps cool the house down, without killing the A/C.

He set it up at the top of the stairs, next to my ever-present laundry pile, and let it stir up all that hot air. This thing is so powerful, you can make your own wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man by simply throwing a shirt over the end of the blower. It's hilarious and incredibly entertaining to the kids.

Don't ask why. I'm not sure I know myself. Kids are entertained by some weird shit sometimes. I don't try to pretend I understand; I just use it to my advantage as much as possible, as often as possible. Eventually, they get bored by whatever it is they found so entertaining and you're back to Square One. After a shirt or two, a sheet and some other random articles of clothing, they were over it & we were back to the Kinect.

Except Phoenix apparently wasn't as "over it" as I thought. His little sense of discovery & curiosity was piqued and even after several warning not to stick his fingers or ANYTHING into the blower, he did just that. Jay & I heard the sound of something hitting the fan blade and leaped up to see why there wasn't a scream to follow. I figured no scream was a good thing.

I was wrong.

We found Phoenix in his room, with a look of utter horror & total pain on his face, his hand shoved under his blanket. I sat down and pulled his hand out to see what happened. 'There's blood.' I announce as he's dancing around, yelping. I flip his hand over to see how bad it is.

And proceed to freak the fuck out. Yes, that's a technical term.

Normally in these situations, I'm the one who maintains a level head, a voice of calming reason & reassurance. Not this time. "We need to go to the hospital.' I tell Jay. He hasn't seen what I've seen yet so he feels comfortable telling me to "calm down". "I AM CALM!" I snap back & show him Phoenix's bloody little fingers. One look and Jay agrees, "Yup. You need to go to the hospital." It's Sunday, our lazy day, so we're all rocking our pajamas, even though it's something like 1 o'clock in the afternoon. I throw a shirt on Phoenix as gently as possible after Jay wraps a clean rag around his still bleeding fingers.

The kid is freaking out. Screaming, crying, scared to death he's going to lose his fingers, his whole hand, that he'll never be able to play video games again (true story). He's putting himself into a panic attack on top of all the physical trauma he's just inflicted. "Deep breaths" I say, "Calm down. Everything's going to be okay. The Doctor's going to look at your fingers and they're going to fix them. Okay? Everything's going to be okay, buddy. Just calm down." So proud of myself cuz seriously, I was right there with him.

OHMYFUCKINGGOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO MY BABY!?!?!

We sign in, get through triage and get some x-rays taken. No Tylenol or Motrin. Nothing for the pain & swelling. Just a six hour wait in the E.R. lobby. Jay came down with Paxton right after we signed in, ran to get us some snacks and came back to hang out & wait but after a box of Jolly Rancher chews (so good) and a Slurpee, Paxton was literally bouncing off the walls. Jay took him home to run the sugar out so it's just me & Phoenix. And the other 19 gazillion people in need of emergency medicine.

Around 6 o'clock, we finally get called back to hear the x-ray results, get bandaged up & discharged. We found Nickelodeon and watched an hour of Spongebob before seeing anyone with a badge or chart but I couldn't seem to avoid making eye contact with the weirdo across the hall every single time I looked up. Eventually we found out nothing was broken, just some severe abrasions that couldn't be stitched.

He was bandaged up, all four fingers from tips to wrist, and discharged after another hour or so. We made it home, watched with Simpson's while we wolfed down "dinner" and trundled up to bed. All tucked in, bandaged hand carefully laid on top of his blankets, he assured me & Jay he would never put his hand in the fan again.

Yeah, kid; we know.

Downstairs to relax, recount the insanity that we just survived & get a laugh at the newest example of 'Murphy's Law', in full effect. Anything that can possibly go wrong, does. It seems if you bear the name 'Murphy', this is doubly true. Taking this into account, I shouldn't have been totally shocked when I heard a knock at the door. Our friends next door were home from a day at the river & having a get-together. They'd been drinking at the river & my friend, Carrie, needed a ride to get her little sister in Rancho Cordova.

I couldn't say no. How could anyone? Her little sister is only 16, doesn't have a car & wasn't in the greatest neighborhood to be mobbing around on her Razor after dark. After a day on the river, drinking in the sun, no one next door was in any shape to drive. I frankly hadn't even thought to crack open the one Mike's Hard Lemonade I have in the fridge so we hopped in the Jeep.

We got out to Rancho around a quarter to ten, made a stop to drop Carrie's sister off at home & grabbed some diapers before heading back to my place. Carrie was more than thankful, putting $20 in my tank AND buying the diapers for me, which I wouldn't have been able to get without her. It was really sort of a blessing; I wouldn't have gas or diapers right now if it weren't for her and I did something I can feel good about for a friend, something we should all do more of.

Even after all that, I still stayed up till midnight watching t.v. with Jay. It was just too much. I had to unwind from all the action & 'excitement'.

6:11 came super fast this morning but I'm so glad it did. Today is here & yesterday is over with. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but in this family, any day can turn into an adventure. Real quick.

Day 8 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 8 --

Today is my best friend Angela's 27th birthday and I realize I don't have nearly as many pictures of her as I should :( sorry, Ange, I just seem to be missing a few years...

You've been a part of my family for so long now; I can't believe it's been nineteen years since we met! We've been through so much together and shared so many memories.
My dad took us snipe hunting on this trip and we built an awesome driftwood fort on the beach...then I burned my hand on a smoldering ember. Classic Me.

From elementary school through high school, you were always a best friend. We fought but always got over it and came back to 'sisterhood'.  There's been so much you've helped me through and there are so many memories we share. I love you like a sister because you are my sister. I will always be here for you, through everything, day and night.

You've helped me stay strong a million times, in a million ways. We've been through pregnancies together. We've watched our kids play together and start to grow into little mini-mes (mini-us'??). Do you remember taking me to find out if I was pregnant with #2? You were just as happy and excited as we were <3 We've lost together, grieved for each other and grieved for our fathers together. We are bonded in so many ways and I want you to know; You are still my sister and my best friend.

I hope this next year is a joyous one for you. You've come so far in this world and I know you're feeling truly happy in life right now. 

You are a beautiful person, an amazing mother, a loving sister and valued friend.

I'm so grateful to have you in my life. 

Happy Birthday, Ange; today is a special day <3

Day 5 -- Golden Years Challenge

Day 5 --

Being the only child of a working mom, I spent a lot of time in daycare. A LOT. I vaguely remember a few babysitters & random kids but The Browns were more than neighbors and way more than an in-home daycare. Andy & Tyler were older than me by a few years and made the perfect pseudo-brothers; they gave me all the crap real brothers would but at the end of the day, I still went home an only child.

Jason Lee Elementary School circa 1994

So many hours of my life have been spent on a softball field, all thanks to this first year. I don't think I knew what I was getting into; softball pretty much ruled my life after this. Most of my friends played and  it was always more fun than work. 

This is how I met a short, loud-mouth little girl named Angie Crivellone and after 18 years, she's still my closest friend.

Selling the house I spent most of my childhood, in a sense, marked the end of that childhood. I went into fifth grade that year, my grades started to slip and I realized life's not all fun & games. 

It's kinda bittersweet to see this because I 'm so happy; I was just a kid having a good ol' time, with no idea that the Big Bad World was waiting just around the corner...

If only kids knew how much fun it is to be a kid, maybe they wouldn't be in such a rush to grow up.

♥ 

The Best of Friends

Everyone has friends. People we share our lives with, our hopes & fears, our dreams. Every now & then though, we're blessed to meet someone who's more than a friend; someone who's a kindred spirit, a piece of yourself you didn't realize you were missing until you found them. 

That's my Ester.  Since meeting her a few years ago, I've found the joy of friendship without limits or expectations. She accepts me fully and I, her. We share common interests like knitting, blogging, music, cats...and while we don't agree on everything, that's okay. Because I know she will never compromise herself or her beliefs to please me or make me happy. 

Since I moved away, I've felt the physical loss of her keenly. We still chat on the regular via social media and text messages but not being able to escape to her house whenever I feel trapped by the Things' & Mr. Clean has been a strain. She's always been there to help me through hard times and to celebrate the good times.

So you can imagine the pure joy that I'm feeling after learning she's planning a visit! It's beyond excitement. I cannot wait to see her face and hug her. Instead of spending a week alone while her BF is away for work, she's going to drive down & spend a few days with me; she'll be the first friend to come visit and meet the Family and I can't wait to show her around.

Even if we just sit in the house, knitting all day, it'll be an awesome, wicked-good time <3