Monday, June 4, 2012

When a lazy Sunday goes bad

Even though we completely lack any sort of religious preference, we can agree Sunday should be a day of rest. Mainly because we want at least one day we can laze around and not feel obligated to go out & do something; secondly because Sunday is the day before Monday, which makes it the perfect day for resting before being tackled by another week of work, school & all the other obligations we must suffer through.

This Sunday, things were different. Very different.

It started out great. I got to sleep in. I mean really sleep in. I didn't get out of bed until after 9 (that's like noon for most people). It felt GREAT.

When I got up, I ran to get coffee and Sunday morning breakfast of coffee cake & chocolate chip muffins. I made coffee, read my book outside in the sunshine for a bit. I remembered for the first time in months that we own a Kinect & we all got down on some Kinect Adventures!. I can't believe I forgot how awesome this thing is! This summer won't be nearly as difficult as I thought when I can entertain & exercise the kids from the comfort of an air-conditioned house.

With summer on the way, weather here has been nice. And hot. Really hot for a girl from Oregon. I thought it was hot enough for the A/C since we were bouncing around, leaping over imaginary logs and whatnot. Jay thought differently so he busted out his industrial strength blower. It's a huge fan that he uses to dry the floors after mopping. It's like a box fan on crack and really helps cool the house down, without killing the A/C.

He set it up at the top of the stairs, next to my ever-present laundry pile, and let it stir up all that hot air. This thing is so powerful, you can make your own wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man by simply throwing a shirt over the end of the blower. It's hilarious and incredibly entertaining to the kids.

Don't ask why. I'm not sure I know myself. Kids are entertained by some weird shit sometimes. I don't try to pretend I understand; I just use it to my advantage as much as possible, as often as possible. Eventually, they get bored by whatever it is they found so entertaining and you're back to Square One. After a shirt or two, a sheet and some other random articles of clothing, they were over it & we were back to the Kinect.

Except Phoenix apparently wasn't as "over it" as I thought. His little sense of discovery & curiosity was piqued and even after several warning not to stick his fingers or ANYTHING into the blower, he did just that. Jay & I heard the sound of something hitting the fan blade and leaped up to see why there wasn't a scream to follow. I figured no scream was a good thing.

I was wrong.

We found Phoenix in his room, with a look of utter horror & total pain on his face, his hand shoved under his blanket. I sat down and pulled his hand out to see what happened. 'There's blood.' I announce as he's dancing around, yelping. I flip his hand over to see how bad it is.

And proceed to freak the fuck out. Yes, that's a technical term.

Normally in these situations, I'm the one who maintains a level head, a voice of calming reason & reassurance. Not this time. "We need to go to the hospital.' I tell Jay. He hasn't seen what I've seen yet so he feels comfortable telling me to "calm down". "I AM CALM!" I snap back & show him Phoenix's bloody little fingers. One look and Jay agrees, "Yup. You need to go to the hospital." It's Sunday, our lazy day, so we're all rocking our pajamas, even though it's something like 1 o'clock in the afternoon. I throw a shirt on Phoenix as gently as possible after Jay wraps a clean rag around his still bleeding fingers.

The kid is freaking out. Screaming, crying, scared to death he's going to lose his fingers, his whole hand, that he'll never be able to play video games again (true story). He's putting himself into a panic attack on top of all the physical trauma he's just inflicted. "Deep breaths" I say, "Calm down. Everything's going to be okay. The Doctor's going to look at your fingers and they're going to fix them. Okay? Everything's going to be okay, buddy. Just calm down." So proud of myself cuz seriously, I was right there with him.

OHMYFUCKINGGOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO MY BABY!?!?!

We sign in, get through triage and get some x-rays taken. No Tylenol or Motrin. Nothing for the pain & swelling. Just a six hour wait in the E.R. lobby. Jay came down with Paxton right after we signed in, ran to get us some snacks and came back to hang out & wait but after a box of Jolly Rancher chews (so good) and a Slurpee, Paxton was literally bouncing off the walls. Jay took him home to run the sugar out so it's just me & Phoenix. And the other 19 gazillion people in need of emergency medicine.

Around 6 o'clock, we finally get called back to hear the x-ray results, get bandaged up & discharged. We found Nickelodeon and watched an hour of Spongebob before seeing anyone with a badge or chart but I couldn't seem to avoid making eye contact with the weirdo across the hall every single time I looked up. Eventually we found out nothing was broken, just some severe abrasions that couldn't be stitched.

He was bandaged up, all four fingers from tips to wrist, and discharged after another hour or so. We made it home, watched with Simpson's while we wolfed down "dinner" and trundled up to bed. All tucked in, bandaged hand carefully laid on top of his blankets, he assured me & Jay he would never put his hand in the fan again.

Yeah, kid; we know.

Downstairs to relax, recount the insanity that we just survived & get a laugh at the newest example of 'Murphy's Law', in full effect. Anything that can possibly go wrong, does. It seems if you bear the name 'Murphy', this is doubly true. Taking this into account, I shouldn't have been totally shocked when I heard a knock at the door. Our friends next door were home from a day at the river & having a get-together. They'd been drinking at the river & my friend, Carrie, needed a ride to get her little sister in Rancho Cordova.

I couldn't say no. How could anyone? Her little sister is only 16, doesn't have a car & wasn't in the greatest neighborhood to be mobbing around on her Razor after dark. After a day on the river, drinking in the sun, no one next door was in any shape to drive. I frankly hadn't even thought to crack open the one Mike's Hard Lemonade I have in the fridge so we hopped in the Jeep.

We got out to Rancho around a quarter to ten, made a stop to drop Carrie's sister off at home & grabbed some diapers before heading back to my place. Carrie was more than thankful, putting $20 in my tank AND buying the diapers for me, which I wouldn't have been able to get without her. It was really sort of a blessing; I wouldn't have gas or diapers right now if it weren't for her and I did something I can feel good about for a friend, something we should all do more of.

Even after all that, I still stayed up till midnight watching t.v. with Jay. It was just too much. I had to unwind from all the action & 'excitement'.

6:11 came super fast this morning but I'm so glad it did. Today is here & yesterday is over with. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but in this family, any day can turn into an adventure. Real quick.

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