It ends.

With the end of today comes the end of a long, very defining chapter in my life.

It started with trauma, weeks after I had buried my father and he wouldn't be alone. His mother and brother followed him, as did my mom's mom. I've met new people, made new friends, seen new places, created a life for myself that is all my own. Three children have come out of my body. Three beautiful, perfectly formed little babies. My heart has broken and mended itself again and again. I have learned. I have grown. Fears have been conquered. Dreams have come true and dreams have been shattered, laid to rest forever.

The sun sets tonight and I say 'Goodbye' to my twenties. Ten years of life doesn't seem like so much, until you really think about all that has happened in that time. Ten years can be forever. Ten years can be a lifetime.

Ten years ago, I was a wholly different person. No kids. No responsibilities. I had no idea the road I was heading down. I couldn't see what the future held; none of us really can, I don't think. I was lost in a fog of grief, struggling to find something, anything, to hold on to, to cling to, to give me a reason to want to live.

Then I had Him. The wound my father's death gave me wasn't healed but the day Phoenix was born, I found life again. This tiny, wriggling little being had grown inside me, been made by me but I knew he was a gift. I made a promise to always be the best I could be for him, to do the best by him I could and to always be there for him, no matter what.

I took on new responsibilities, got a real job, for a little while; I grew confident and learn to love myself. I made choices and I made mistakes. I gave up on working to stay at home and made another one of those three beautiful boys. I uprooted our growing family and said goodbye to the city that had raised me, said goodbye to 26 years of memories and the friends I'd made. I grew even more and discovered you never stop learning about yourself when you are honest with yourself.

I made a home in a new city, in a new state. I became more comfortable with myself, admitted I had faults (and still do) and looked for solutions to my problems. I was finally able to get Phoenix the help he desperately needed and as a reward, I've watched him flourish & blossom. Paxton has grown into a wonder-filled, curious little boy and I am cherishing every second of #3's babyhood. Korben is seven months old and even more energetic than Paxton was at this age; he fits into the family as if he was always here & you know, I'm inclined to think he may have been.

I know there is a lot more to come but I'm sad to see this part of my life end, sort of anyways. The next ten years will hold some of the same: growth, love and learning; there will be more heartache and stresses to overcome. I will see these boys grow into young men and I'm sure I will "earn" many more gray hairs.

As I close this chapter, I know I've already started the next & this one won't really end with the setting sun. It just continues, just as life continues.

I will keep being me, just an older, wiser me.

Who the Hell am I??

I should call this "The post where I get to brag about being tagged by FOUR awesome ladies!" but it was too long and I think I'm supposed to titled it like I did because, well, there's a theme here, as I'm sure you've noticed.

I first got tagged for this by Joy over at ComfyTown Chronicles and I was thrilled. I love Joy and her page & blog. Next came the tag from Synnove from Don't Chew on the Dinner Table!. If you haven't checked her out yet, you are missing out on some funny. I snort-laugh through just about every post. Third in line was the almighty & wondrous Kelly (A.K.A. Wonder Woman), Queen Bie at DeBie Hive. If you've been here for long, you know she's like my big-blog-sister and I love her to death; like all of these ladies, she's a source of inspiration in many, many ways. And last but never, ever least was the tag from the snarky, quirky and oh-so-lovable Christine at Slice of Humble. She is amaze-balls and I love, love, LOVE her. 

Go check these ladies out, if you don't know them well already and be sure to find them on Facebook:

ComfyTown Chronicles

Don't Chew on the Dinner Table!

DeBie Hive

Slice of Humble

ON TO THE GOOD STUFF!!

1.  WHERE WERE YOU BORN?    I was born in Portland, Oregon. 

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?  I think my middle name is after Queen Elizabeth. I'd have to ask my mom...

3. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?   I have two boys, 7 & 3, and one bun in the oven. We find out what #3 is on April 1st!!

4. HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?   We have one cat, Knowledge, and one Chihuahua, Lexi. That's enough for us...

5. YOUR WORST INJURY?   I had an appendectomy in 3rd grade, a broken wrist in 7th but by far, I think the worst injury came when Phoenix did. It required reconstructive surgery and let's just say, things haven't been quite right since then. 

 
6. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?   I don't know that I would say I have a "talent" but there are things I am really good at doing; falling up stairs, tripping over my own feet, pretending my kitchen sink isn't full of dirty dishes...things like that.

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?   I love to bake; mainly, because I love to eat cookies and cake and junk. My favorite would have to be cake or cupcakes right now or Jell-o No-Bake cheesecakes. As a kid, Grandma V's chocolate chip cookies. SO GOOD. 

8. FAVORITE FAST FOOD?    God. You had to ask. We eat way too much fast food. WAY TOO MUCH. 

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?   HELL NO.

10. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?    Appearance, body language, eye contact.

11. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?   Sunday. I'm pregnant and hormonal and emotional. Normally, I bottle things up until I 'splode but right now, I cry over every sappy thing I see. 

12. ANY CURRENT WORRIES?   I know this is ridiculous and it's not really a "worry" but I really hope this baby I'm growing right now does NOT have a penis. I'm not going to love a him any less than I'll love a her, I just really need some more estrogen in this house. Other than that, things are doing pretty good. FOR ONCE. 

13. NAME 3 DRINKS YOU DRINK REGULARLY.   Coffee, juice and Ginger Ale.

14. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?    Oh my god, I have so many favorites. The Wheel of Time series is at the top of the list though. It is the next LOTR. 

15. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE?   I would love to be a pirate as long as I don't have to go to sea. I get sea-sick and I'm pretty sure that's not very pirate-y.

16. FAVORITE SMELLS?   I love fresh, green, citrus-y smells. Cloves. Old Spice. New baby smell. I think I'm attached to a lot more smells than I realized.

17. WHY DO YOU BLOG?   When i first started blogging, it was to keep in touch with family and friends out-of-state. Then it turned into a place to rant about shit in my life that I thought was wrong. Hence the big gap; those posts had no business existing. Period. Now, it's a therapy for me. I've loved writing since forever and with my penchant for stuffing emotions down into a hole, this serves as a really good way for me to express myself and get stuff out without losing my shit. 

18. WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?    I've thought about how to answer this question for DAYS and honestly, I have no idea. There are a ton of songs I love but I can't think of anything that says "This is my life" or "Megan's Funeral". I hope it's more like a wake though, with everyone getting drunk and stoned and talking about all the good times and memories. A celebration of life. 

19. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?   I take things personally when I shouldn't. It's not that I think the world revolves around me, it's that I see coincidences and I think they must be premeditated and planned to irk or annoy me. I'm learning that even when people are doing shit to irk or annoy me, it's not my fault but it's a long and slow learning process. For me, anyways. 

20. FAVORITE HOBBY?   Knitting wins, hands down. I've pretty much given up every other craft I've ever picked up. Scrapbooking, cross-stitching, beading/jewelry-making. All gone by the wayside.

21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?   Honesty, integrity, similar personal morals, a willingness to be open & share. 

22. NAME SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO.   Attempt to emulate my father. My dad and I really butted heads growing up and I never would have claimed to be close to him. I always considered myself to be Mommy's Little Girl; she raised me as a single mom for most of my childhood and my dad was the authority figure when he came back into my life. Now, looking back, I am so grateful for him and the relationship we had. I had no idea how hard this parenting thing was and I have so much respect for him and the way he tried to raise me.

23. FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO?   Camping, hiking/nature walks, crafts with the kiddos, movie nights. I love spending quality time with the family, doing things that you know are making memories, watching the kids laugh and be kids. 

24. ANY PET PEEVES?   LOTS. My biggest is being fake. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Don't try to impress me with what you think I'll be impressed by. Just be yourself and I will like you or I won't. Trust me; I'm not that important and you shouldn't be hurt if I decide you aren't my cup of tea. Just keep doing you and love yourself.

25. WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?  Does laugh-crying count?? Like i said before -- super emotional right now. Funny things the kids do easily turn into oh-my-god-where'd-my-baby-go moments and I'm crying like a baby. I do laugh a lot though; it's good medicine and I have learned that if you can't laugh at life, you probably have no business living it. 


And now for MY round of Tag:

The Insomniac's Dream

Fancy Meeting You Here

Wild & Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps

Yes, I know. ONLY THREE?!? There are a TON more that I want to tag but I'm afraid of re-tagging someone so I'm sticking with these lovely ladies. If you want to join in, FEEL FREE! You can even say I tagged you. I'll take it.