The Return

I might be overdoing it a bit when I say it feels like I've completed some sort of epic, Iliad-like quest but I'm saying it anyways. 

This having a baby thing was IS crazy-hard!

I think we're finding our groove again but it's still a work in progress for sure. Life is always difficult when a new baby comes home, I just managed to forget how difficult it can be those first few weeks. In this case, it wasn't the baby that was challenging; it was everything else. 

Dealing with two older kids, a house & a business on top of a baby was what I hadn't really planned for. I mean, I knew I was going to have to do it; I just didn't think it would be as impossible as it was... Thankfully, I think the hardest part is behind us and OMG, is this baby adorable! 

He's almost three months old now. Phoenix & Paxton are getting used to him, although Phoenix isn't as interested in him as Paxton is. I think it's harder for Phoenix because he is the oldest; he knows now that another baby means less attention for himself and he's determined to make sure he doesn't get left out, even if it means getting into trouble. Negative attention is still attention, right? And if you can get the whole family to stop, you get a lot of attention. We're working on learning to explain how we feel and exploring what makes us feel the way we do. It's a hard concept for anyone to grasp; it's even harder for a seven year old with processing issues to understand. 

Paxton, on the other hand, is doing fabulously. He's adjusted much better than I had expected. No major regressions; no real jealousy over Korben; no behavior problems at school. He's had a few moments of dislike when I need to take Korben with us to lay down for nap (which I totally get: that's our us time) but he's pretty much in love with his little brother. He's doing really well in preschool & his speech is getting better every day. He's farther along at this age than Phoenix was so I'm hopeful he'll be caught up in another year or two; he's even spelling words, including his name!

Jay's been working non-stop; no maternity leave for the self-employed dad. Wah wah wah. We had his Grammy with us for a week or so after Korben came home & there have been a few visits from family but for the most part, we've been on our own. Jay works as much as possible, booking rentals on the weekends and any open weekdays. Which leaves me alone with the three kids a lot. Yes, it's my job as a SAHM but that doesn't mean it's sunshine & roses 24/7. Especially with a newborn, two older-but-still-dependant kids and a house to maintain. Keeping us all fed, clothes & bathed has been a challenge, to put it lightly. Something to do with a baby constantly latched to a boob, I dunno...

I'll admit I've learned to do so many things with one hand or while breastfeeding. In fact, I should probably get a medal or something, for real. Physically, I'm back to the old me. Scratch that. I'm back to a version of old me but one that has BOOBS. Yup, one perk to breastfeeding when you've got smaller-than-average chesticules and I am enjoying them immensely. Getting back to myself, mentally & emotionally, has been harder. That whole perception-meets-reality conundrum. Things just weren't what I thought they would be. They still aren't and they probably will never be. That's the thing with perceptions; even when they are yours, they aren't always right. 

I'm coming to terms with my new reality, getting used to things & finding a balance that works for us, building a new routine. I'll fill you in on all that's happened between this post and my last over a few posts but this will have to satisfy you for now. You can put your mind at ease and finally breathe a sigh of relief:

I am back.

A fitting award, if I do say so myself...

When I first heard of the Leibster award, I'll admit I wanted one just because it's well a LEIBSTER award and you kind of have to admit, that sounds an awful lot like a LEBERT award and who wouldn't want an award that kind of, sort of, sounds like it may or may not have been named after them??

Well, my wish was granted. This award came to me all the way from West Virginia and the wonderful blogger, Gingerssnaps. You can check her out at The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps. She also has a blog about the journey she's been on since losing her mom -- The Grief Chronicles -- if you've been here for long, you know the loss of a parent is something I can identify with and something that pulls me to other bloggers.

Back to the award...

There are rules here but they are pretty simple:

1. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.

3. Choose 11 new bloggers (with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them in your post.

4. Go back to their page and tell them about the award.

5. No tag backs.

I'll go ahead and start with the random facts; those are always fun. 

1. I had to get my first set of stitches when I was in Kindergarten. Back then, schools had money and we got to enjoy a day with a real prima ballerina. It was totally awesome until the girl next to me swept my foot out from under me, doing one move or another and smack! right on the linoleum, chin first. My dad had to come pick me up & take me for the stitches, which was weird and rare because my parents were divorced and my dad was working graveyard. 

2. Before I had kids, I thought I wanted three boys. Then I had one. Then another. Now, I'm desperate for this last baby to be a girl. DESPERATE. I'm not totally irrational about it; if it is another boy, it will be okay. I will be okay. I will only cry a little, for a brief minute or two and then I will remember that it is not the sex of a baby that makes it special, it's the fact that it's a baby and OMGYOUJUSTMADETHATTHING. IN YOUR BODY. 

3. After growing up in a house that only ever had dogs for pets (my mom had a serious cat allergy and so do I), I discovered I actually really like cats. Sure, they still scare the shit out of me when I see them following me in the street, especially at night, but honestly, they are super awesome animals and way different than dogs. 

4. I love rainbows. When I was a kid and friendship bracelets were all the rage, I could only ever make them in rainbows. It was too hard to choose colors that went together. Jesus, it still is. 

5. I've lived in three different states (Oregon, North Carolina & California), traveled to another country three times (Canada, eh?) and since January 2010, I've lived in three different houses and one of those moves was The Big One. 

6. I love to eat and cook; food is just so awesome and delicious. You'd never know it from my appearance (thank you, Dad, for my amazing metabolism) but I munch and snack all day long. Not always the healthiest eater, I am trying to modify my food choices and add more fruits and veggies. Parsnips are one of my favorites and I love using my Crock Pot to make stews and chili. 

7. I'm five feet, nine-and-three-quarter inches tall but I say "5'10" because I feel entitled to that extra quarter inch. Plus it's so much easier and really, who's gonna call me on it??

8. I simply cannot survive without coffee. It's not my fault. I was never a coffee drinker until my pregnancy with Paxton; super tired and lagging, Jay convinced me to give it a try. Three years later, I'm a coffee nut and I've graduated from grande caramel white chocolate mochas with extra caramel sauce to French pressing at home, with cream & sugar. 

9. I love nail polish. SOMANYCOLORS. While I almost always have nicely polished toes, I usually have plain Jane fingers. It's pretty logical, really; toenails do not chip nearly as easily as fingernails do and therefore are much easier to maintain. Fingers are used for EVERYTHING. I can't go a day after painting my fingernails without chipping some off and then, it looks horrible and it all comes off. So, I forego the fingers and opt to have pretty little piggies.

10. Besides the morning sickness, I LOVE BEING PREGNANT. I can eat all the time, gain weight and I get to buy new clothes! My hair looks great; I HAVE BOOBS; my skin is doing awesome and I seem to be a pro at the hardest part: labor and delivery. I can't really say this one is going to be a cake walk but if past experience is any indication, it shouldn't be too difficult. Did I mention the boobs?? 

11. I think my kids are the best teachers I have ver had. How is that? you ask. They teach me stuff every day, like how to be more patient, to be more loving and in the moment. They teach me to get go of control and just relax. I have learned how to be a better mom and person because of them. I'm still not the best mom I can be but they aren't done teaching me yet, either. 

And here are my 11 questions from Gingerssnaps -- 

1. Where were you born? 
-- I was born in Portland, Oregon, the City of Roses and the city that still has my heart.

2. What is your most favorite thing from childhood?
-- Memories of my dad. I miss him a lot. 

3. Why did you start blogging and why do you blog now? Is it the same reason you started blogging?
-- I started blogging to get rid of stress and bitch about my relationship with Jay. It was very ranty and childish and most of those early posts have 'mysteriously' disappeared. I still use it as an outlet but I've refined my writing style and grown the fuck up. My reasons for blogging have definitely changed; I do it now to reach out and connect with people who have or are experiencing things I've gone through. I want to help people.

4. What is your favorite silly made up word?
--Farfignewton. Don't ask. I have NO IDEA.

5. Who is your favorite leading man/woman?
-- Jesus. No, that's not my answer. I don't really know; I don't have many 'idols' but I am a huge fan of Annie Leibovitz. She may not be a "leading woman" but she is damned awesome.

6. Who is your favorite heroine /hero from any book and why?
-- Lessa, from the Dragonriders of PERN.

7. Have you gotten to know any of your fellow bloggers personally?
-- Yes & no. While I haven't met any of my fellow bloggers, I definitely feel I know some of them personally. I can talk to a few about non-blog stuff, like real life and that makes them friends, right?? I thought so.

8.  What is your favorite holiday? 
-- I like all the end-of-year holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

9.  Who is your role model and why?
-- My dad. He wasn't perfect as a parent or a man but he was always trying to be the best version of him he could be. He taught me to push myself and accept challenges; that growth is sometimes uncomfortable but always worthwhile. 

10. What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you there yet, and are you what you wanted to be as a child? 
--I really didn't have a dream career, growing up. I think I always wanted to be at home, with my kids. My mom raised me alone for eight years and even when my parents got remarried, she worked full-time. All I knew was that didn't sound like fun.

11. What is your favorite quote?
-- Pretty much anything Oscar Wilde ever said but these two stick with me the most: "A man who does not think for himself, does not think at all" and "A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing."


Now that we have all that mess out of the way, I can go ahead and nominate some very worthy blogs!

1. Life As I Know It
2. Young Mums Guide to Survival
3. A Lot of Layers
4. Musings of Munch
5. Bad Playdate
6. PDD World
7. The Insomniac's Dream
8. Non-Stop Mom
9. Life on the SONny Side
10. The Mommy Ref
11. Glitter and Laughter


Here are MY questions for you:

1. Have you ever moved away from "home"?
2. What are your hobbies, besides blogging?
3. Do you go on family vacations; which was your favorite?
4. Any big plans for 2013?
5. If you could have any animal, real or imaginary, for a pet, what would you choose and why?
6. What's your favorite book/movie?
7. It's raining and the kids are home from school, WHAT DO YOU DO?
8. If you could time-travel, would you go back to the past or into the future?
9. Do you censor your posts based on your followers (like family or certain friends)?
10. Will you keep blogging?
11. You get to meet a role model or idol: who is it and why?

Man, this was a hard one! I'm glad I could share all these great blogs though; go check them out and let them now they rock! Just let me tell them they've been nominated first...

Hey, there's a bandwagon! I'm jumping on...

You may have seen or heard about this little thing going on right now over at Circle of Moms, the Top 25?? It's one of those vote for your favorite blog things and well, I just had to jump in the mix. You can find MMD's profile here.

There are a LOT of great blogs in the running too and I know it's a long shot but every chance to get seen is just that: a chance to get seen. It's not even really about "getting seen" as much as attempting to make connections. 

I do this whole blog thing for a few reason, the first of which is my own personal sanity. The second, is to share my stories in the hopes that they can help someone who's in a similar spot or recently vacated said similar spot and I find the hardest posts for me to write are often the ones that people can identify with the most. Like the food stamps post. 

It's also a challenge for myself, to enter into something like this. I'm going outside of my comfort zone and putting myself out there with some of the blogs and bloggers I admire most.

 I am telling myself I am good enough. 

I might not write as often as I want to but I like to think that my posts are all pretty meaningful and well put together. I try not to rant and rave; I try to stick to a point and take you through a timeline or story. I write from the heart, with feeling and genuine emotion. I bare my soul, faults, flaws and weaknesses in these posts and I try to share the pearls of wisdom I've found along my way, however few they may be. 

If you enjoy what I've shared with you here, go vote for me. There are a LOT of other really good blogs in the running that deserve votes too. I had to vote for my favorites, even if it does put me at an even bigger disadvantage. Go check it out and vote for your favorites and even if you don't vote for me, it's cool; I'll still be doing this whole blog thing, regardless.

-- xoxo

The secret I just can't keep

I recently got asked to participate in something AH-MAZING and while the title of this post implies I'm going to tell you all the lovely little details, I'm not; I'm going to give you just a little tidbit and make you wait for the rest.

A couple days ago, FB Messenger popped up and I was scolded by Kelly at DeBie Hive for not being more accessible. You see, my personal profile on FB is set to reject any messages originating from people outside of my friends. Not always the best privacy setting to have active when moderating a page and attempting to be more "open".

After the scolding was over (it was really more like "Fix your settings!" but this is where I take a little 'creative license') and the privacy setting had been updated to allow any old user to message me, I sent out an I-heard-you-were-trying-to-reach-me message.

I quickly got a response and a call to action.

In this blogging world, you either make it or you don't and part of making it means making friends. We support each other and sometimes, because we're almost exclusively connected via the intrawebs, we band together to DO SOMETHING REAL for one another. Being asked to participate in something for another blogger is awesome. It's not a guest post or anything bloggy though; it's a physical, real-life, you-can-hold-in-your-hands thing and I will be a part of making it.

Many of you may not know this but I gotz mad skillz.

Mad knitting skillz.

You may not think knitting requires skill but I'll fix that piece of misinformation for you. Knitting takes insane skills, some of which are math-based and therefore NOT my strongest. It's creative and challenging and consuming. I can do it just about any time, any place; I can knit while watching t.v. or having a conversation. I've knit hats, shawls, shrugs, sweaters, mitts and animals and no one can escape getting something I've knitted.

While I can't say what or who quite yet, I am so honored to be doing it I had to say something or risk exploding from keeping all this awesomeness bottled up. I'm already speeding through and I'm sure I'll be ready to ship out next week. It's only put a tiny dent in my holiday knitting time and it's worth the lost time to be able to say "I was a part of that."

I can't wait to see what it looks like in the end!!

OMG, do I feel special!

I got awarded the Versatile Blogger award last week. It's the first award I've ever gotten for my blog and was pretty much a huge friggin' deal to me. Can you imagine the shock I felt when I got a SECOND award on Sunday?? Yeah, completely surprised.

This time I was awarded the Very Inspiring Blog Award and I'm so grateful to Molly over at Grass Oil for this award. It shouldn't be a surprise that she is also a recipient of this award. Go give her a read. 

Here are the rules for this award: 

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award is an award given out by people who got one themselves and they give it out to 10 people again and so on…ok this sounds a bit confusing, but read on and you will get it. To accept the award you have to follow some steps. They are:

• Link back to the person who nominated you 
• Post the award image to your page
• Tell seven facts about yourself 
• Nominate 10 other blogs
• Let them know they are nominated

Another seven random facts, eh? Let's see if I can come up with some good ones...

1. I've made french toast three times in the last two days. I'm not sure there's an explanation for this, other than it's what the kids keep asking for. 

2. I had an appendectomy in third grade. It's the only surgery I've ever had and it was completely unnecessary. 

3. I require at least one cup of coffee before civil interaction with others is possible. Hello, my name is Megan and I'm a coffee-holic. 

4. I really need to paint my nails.

5. Both my pregnancies ended with an induced labor. Besides developing pregnancy-induced hypertension during the last weeks of gestation, my body seems to handle all aspects of pregnancy, labor and deliver fairly well. 

6. I have three tattoos. GIR from Invader Zim was my first, my tribute to my dad was second and the last, on the first anniversary of Dad's passing, was my biggest: a blossoming lotus and Ohm.

7. My Jeep is FOURTEEN years old and it's got 220,373 miles on it. 30,000 of those miles are mine.

SHIT. Ten other blogs?? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to come up with the first 15?? Okay. Here we go...

Shit Your Mother Never Told You tells you everything your mom never did. I just found her recently and I'm glad I did!

I know all too well that place Where the Sanity Ends but this blog is from a therapist and makes me realize I'm not ll that cray-cray. 

You know when you're laughing so hard, you start crying? That's called Craughing and you can do LOTS of it with this blog. She's also started this AMAZING project called SWAP, or the Self-Worth Action Project -- trade in your negativity for some positive self-worth!

While her blog is titled World's Worst Moms, she clearly isn't the worst mom in any world. Get to know here in the Newbies Start Here tab. 

I'm Sorry that I'm not Sorry is a blog that makes no apologies. I dig that.

I find there are themes to the blogs I follow and The Klonopin Chronicles is no different. She let's us in on her struggle with bi-polar and for that, I give her so much love. 

You guys might not know it but I'm pretty crafty but over at Homespooled, she makes my crafty look like Kindergarten art. Go get spooled!!

Insane in the Mom-brain is fucking hilarious. She says "balls" like it's a curse words so I know we'd get along. 

You think one toddler is bad, The Nitty Gritty Mommy has three PRESCHOOLERS and two of them are five year old twin boys. That alone is inspirational.

And last, but far from least is Rocker Mom Rambles. First, she's a rockin' mom. Second, SHE HAS FUCKING PINK HAIR. I know they say red & pink DO NOT go together but I'm pretty sure we'd be a match made in Punk Rock Heaven.

WHEW! I wasn't sure I'd be able to pull that off but I did. Thanks again to Molly at Grass Oil for nominating me, even though it meant I had to work hard at this post. 

The Versatile Blogger Award

I didn't even know I was in the running but I won. 

My awesome blog-buddy Kelly over at DeBie Hive honors me deeply by presenting me with this award. She's become a great friend and shares her life, struggles and accomplishments with an honesty and clarity I respect and admire. Give her a read; she's definitely worth it.

This is my first award for blogging, EVER, but I'm hoping it's closely followed by a spot in Blogger Idol's Top 13. Wish me luck on that & help out all you can by flooding the Blogger Idol Facebook fan page with blurbs about how awesome Oh Boys is and how much you think I deserve a spot. 

A huge 'thank you' to you guys too, before you rush off to get me that Top 13 spot. You guys motivate me to keep on posting and I really appreciate that you read me, for whatever reason. Even if you're laughing at me instead of with me. Moving along...

Here are the rules:

• If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

• Thank the blogger who nominated you and include a link to their site.

• Copy and paste the award to your blog.

• Share 7 random facts about yourself.

• Nominate 15 bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly and include a link to their site.

• Let the other Bloggers know that you have nominated them.

Hmm. Seven random facts. This could get interesting... 

1. I have traveled "internationally" three times. To Canada. 

2. I'm scared of cats. Yes, you read that right. Our cat, not so much, but random cats on the street?? I can see them watching me & plotting...they just sit there but I know they're planning something. 

3. I am a HORRIBLE liar. I don't like to lie so it's incredibly obvious when I try. 

4. I want to make knitting "cool". I don't want to be the weird chick in the corner, playing with some yarn and needles. I want people to see me knitting and think "That looks cool. What's she making??" I want to make them want to knit.

5. I've never been to Disneyland but I got to go to Las Vegas with my dad when I was 15. We stayed at Harrah's, in the room where my grandma had a heart attack. 

6. I was an only child til about 10. Then I found out I had a brother who's 16 years older than me. Since he found Mom, eighteen years ago, we've managed to stay connected & I'm so glad we have. 

7. Even without my brother, my family now includes something like 6 sister-in-laws and 10 brother-in-laws. I don't even know if I can count all the nieces and nephews so don't ask me to try. Please. 

I hope those are random enough for you. I'm sure I could come up with a ton more but I'll spare you.

Now on to the blogs that I follow, new & old. 

First up, is one of my favorite recent finds, Humble Writes Words. She is honest, hilarious and of course, humble. 

Love that Max is a blog I found when I first realized Phoenix had real speech issues. I learned that I didn't have it so rough and fell in love with a little boy who LOVES all things purple. 

You can find just about anything over in Mandyland. She really got me with her Ficitional Mandyland. Go lose yourself for a bit.

Never not Knitting is one of my all-time favorite knitting blogs. She even has PODCASTS for those of you rockin' those i-perds and whatnot.

The very first time I found I Want a Dumpster Baby, I fell in love. Funny, sassy and always entertaining, she will leave you wiping your eyes EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even when she gets serious.

Yarn Harlot is my other go-to knitting blog. She definitely makes knitting look cool. 

I've found quite a few blogs to love via Facebook and the fan pages these blogs have created. It's an awesome way to tap into new people & get new readers.

You Know It Happens In Your House Too & it usually does. I'm a mom so I gravitate to other Mom blogs. Funny mom blogs. This is definitely one of those. It also helps that she posts photos of her BF Johnny Depp, all day long. SWOON.

Here's another one of my favorite Mom blogs: She has daughters. She runs A LOT and she's Tripping While Standing Still. Go catch her now.

What I Really Meant to Say was you have to check out Jennay (just like Forrest Gump says). She's from the South and full of southern spice. 

Here's a guide we can all use -- The Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess.

Then there's the mom I really wish I could be sometimes. Mom Uncensored. She really does take the filter down and says what she feels. Oh, and she's from the PNW so she HAS to be cool.  

Mommy Has a Potty Mouth might say some naughty things every now and then but she will make you laugh till you pee yourself just about every day.

And then there's Mommy Drinks Because You Cry, who shows us what it's like for those of us who work AND mother. And she does it so well. 

If you like music, you'll enjoy A.D.D. Music Mama and her love of every sort of music, ever. 

Daddy doin' work is a favorite because he's a DAD. I think it's freaking awesome. He not only stays home with his Daughter Doin' Work, he blogs about it so we can all go, "AW!" when he does something awesome like tell off an ass-hat at the gas station.

People I Want To Punch In The Throat says things you wish you could and does it all in such a funny way, you may need some extra pants.

There are more but I think I should save some in case I have to do something like this again. Thanks again to Kelly, at DeBie Hive for my nomination! THIS WAS FUN! And challenging.

I don't blog to make friends, it just sort of happens

I've done posts about what this blog means to me before. I've explained that this isn't something I do for anyone other than myself. This blog is a chance for me to vocalize everything that's going on in my brain and it gives me an opportunity to share my experiences with the world.

I don't choose topics I think will get me readers. I don't blog to impress people. I'm don't think this will get me fame or fortunes or make me an internet sensation. I don't really want to be a "mommy blogger".

I'm just a mom who blogs.

Given all this, I will admit that one of the biggest surprises and the greatest rewards in doing this has been the friendships I've made. One in particular, Kelly over at DeBie Hive, has been a true gift.

When I found her blog, I was shocked to see so many similarities in our writings and experiences. She had just lost her dad to cancer and I felt for her. I left her a comment and it sparked a relationship that has helped me in ways I could never have imagined. She motivates me to keep on writing, regardless of the topic, and to write from my heart. I'm impressed with how open and willing to share Kelly is and I find it inspiring. I find strength in her words; they give me the ability to say, "Yes. I can do this. I can be open & honest. I don't need to censor my words here. THIS IS MY SPACE." 


I started my Facebook page in large part because of Kelly, even if she doesn't know it. I look forward to her blogs with much anticipation and I am always, ALWAYS thrilled to get feedback from her on my posts. She is genuine, warm, friendly and HONEST. With not a lot of people to turn to for advice or just an ear to listen to my woes, I am supremely grateful that she has decided I am worthy of her attentions. A quick conversation with her on Facebook yesterday, changed my entire day & helped me work through issues that have been plaguing me for a long while now.

We may be absolute strangers in the eyes of most people but I have a feeling that if I were to announce a trip to Colorado tomorrow, I'd have an invite to meet her for coffee. And, Kelly, if you ever make a trip out to Sacramento, I'll be expecting to hear about it. You have helped me find confidence in my writings, helped me give voice to the thoughts I dared not speak before and shown me the power of uncensoring myself.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to be your friend. You really are awesome <3